A Funny Selection of Philosophy Jokes

A Funny Selection of Philosophy Jokes There are plenty of hilarious philosophy jokes out there, some of which could easily be incorporated into teaching materials for both children and adults. From three books on the topic by Tom Cathcart and Dan Klein to the back pages of the internet, philosophy has borne the brunt of many a joke through the ages, offering both truth and humor to a rather grim observation of the human condition. The history of philosophy  is, in fact, riddled with humor. Cathcart and Klein Since 2007, the dynamic philosophy comedic duo of Tom Cathcart and Dan Klein have used humor to observe some basic truths around human psychology and ancient and modern philosophies. They famously taught the work you may even begin to understand philosophy through jokes, penning three books on the topic. Largely their structures hinged on telling a joke then explaining its relevance to the broader science. Their first book, Plato and Platypus Walk Into A Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes premiered in 2007 and was a major commercial hit, breaking down jokes according to philosophical branches or broad topics such as relativity. In it, it picks apart such jokes as what is the sound of one hand clapping, as they compare to Platos observations on topics like religion, logic, and reasoning. Aristotle and an Aardvark Go To Washington was their second book, published in 2008 and utilized politicians most awkward talk to take up philosophical issues. Their third book Heidegger and a Hippo Walk Through Those Pearly Gates: Using Philosophy (and Jokes!) to Explore Life, Death, the Afterlife, and Everything in Between (2009) is devoted to a single philosophical topic: immortality. Some of Historys Greatest Jokes Some notable and unsourceable jokes date all the way back to Platos time, in fact, The First Law of Philosophy is that for every philosopher, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher and the Second Law of Philosophy states that theyre both wrong. A common joke overheard  in 18th-century England was told as Did you hear that George Berkeley died? His girlfriend stopped seeing him! And more recently, you may have seen this gem plastered on bathroom stalls: God is dead - Nietzsche; Nietzsche is dead: God. Nothing is safe in the realm of philosophy jokes, especially not religion. Have you heard this one? What did the Buddhist say to the hot-dog vendor? Make me one with everything; What did the vendor then say to the Buddhist when he asked for change? Change comes from within! Ethics also hasnt avoided ridicule, as is the case with this famous joke. In it, a thoroughly secular young attorney and a philosopher were engaged in a fierce theological debate. Heaven and hell, you will agree, may very well be separated by a wall, contended the lawyer. Should it happen that this wall would fall down, who would you say must rebuild it? He posits that the righteous would insist that the wicked do it and the latter would likely refuse. He continues, If this case came before a judge, which do you believe would emerge the winner? The philosopher replied, It seems to me that any fair-minded judge would render a verdict against the wicked since the likelihood is that the wall should crumble from the fires of hell rather than from the bliss of Paradise, but on the other hand, I fully realize that hell surely contains a full quota of glib-tongued lawyers, and I should therefore not be surprised if they won the case.

The Republican Party Essays - Deists, Hypochondriacs, Free Essays

The Republican Party Essays - Deists, Hypochondriacs, Free Essays The Republican Party Introduction The Republican Party, since its first convention in Michigan in 1854, has had a philosophy that has remained relatively unchanged. Its oath entices Americans to believe that "good government is based on the individual and that each person's ability, dignity, freedom and responsibility must be honored and recognized" How do the Republican philosophies hold up to the ideas of some of the political thinkers that we have discussed in class. In the selection to follow, I will examine the Republican's main philosophies and will describe how Rousseau would agree or disagree with their position. I will be using the Republican Platform of 1996 to aid in my discussion. Ideas that will be of focus will be the role of the government, property rights, and freedom of the individual. The Role of the Government "We are the party of small, responsible and efficient government? We therefore assert the power of the American people over government, rather than the other way around". The view of the Republicans across the Nation is that the role of government should be kept to a minimum. In this section, I will discuss certain views of the Party and how they would be accepted or rejected by Jean-Jacques Rousseau. The Republican notion has been that less government is better. Rousseau's notion was that of extrication. He states that the fundamental political problem is "to find a form of association that defends and protects the person and the goods of each associate with all the common force, and by means of which each one uniting with all, nevertheless obeys only himself and remains as free as before" (Cahn, 367). The Republicans would agree with Rousseau's idea. They (Republican Party) state that the Tenth Amendment to the United States Constitution should be the basis for the role of government. The Tenth Amendment states: The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to its people. Republicans, while holding the majority in both the House and Senate have taken it upon themselves to apply all laws to Congress, so that those who make the rules have to live by them. Rousseau agrees in respect that no association should be above the laws it makes. In his treatise entitled Of the Social contract or Principles of Political Right, Rousseau states, "Indeed, each individual may, as a man, have a particular will contrary to, or divergent from, the general will which he may have as a citizen" (Cahn, 426). What Rousseau is suggesting is that a person may feel one way, but he/she must act in accordance with the general will of his/her fellow citizens. The Republicans would insist that the proper role of the Government is to provide only what can be considered critical functions that can't be preformed by individuals or private organizations; and that the best government is that which governs least. They plan to streamline the government and make it more effective by ! competition and privatization. Rousseau agrees by saying that simple government is best, because it is simple. Democracy. On the subject of Democracy, Rousseau would point out that there has never been, nor will there ever be a true Democracy. He says, "It is contrary to the natural order that the greater number should govern and the lesser number should be governed" (Cahn, 448). Republicans would tend to lean towards the fact that people in the United States need to have more say in how the government is ran. Signs of a Good Government. Rousseau says that there is no way to find out the best Government, because there are as many solutions as there are combinations. He does give people an idea on how to determine if when a Government is working. "All other things being equal, the Government under which, without naturalizations, without colonies, the Citizens become populous and multiply most is infallibly the best" (Cahn, 456). Property The subject of property and the rights to it have instigated many heated debates over time. Rousseau's argument is for that of first occupant. "The right of the first occupant, altough more real than that of strongest, becomes a

Smith's Accounting Tax & Service Case Study Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 750 words

Smith's Accounting Tax & Service - Case Study Example Importance of Management Functions The four major management functions, planning, organizing, influencing, and controlling, play a significant role in performing the daily activities of an organization. The concept of planning sets specific goals for organizations, managers, and other employees. In the opinion of Pride, Hughes, and Kapoor (2010), planning assists the management team to understand where the organization is, how to make the organization move along the specified path, and when to take appropriate measures to achieve the targeted organizational goals etc (pp.169-170). Elimination of uncertainties, minimization of impulsive and arbitrary decisions, quick resource allocation, effective use of resources, adaptive responses, anticipative action, and integration of various decisions and activities are other benefits usually obtained from planning. According to Hurd, Barcelona, and Meldrum (2008, pp.42-43), ‘organizing’ is an effective functional element of manage ment that assists the firm to achieve the targets set in the planning phase. Organizing aids a firm to distribute the works effectively among its employees. Organizing is essential to clarify the powers of every manager and the way he has to exercise those powers. This practice will also prevent managers from taking unfair advantages of their position. Similarly, work coordination, effective administration, growth and diversification, sense of security, and scope for new changes are some other fruitful outcomes of organizing. A manager’s level of success or failure is determined on the basis of his/her ability to influence people within the particular department. When managerial individuals effectively deploy their influencing skills, they exude a positive energy that would highly motivate their subordinates. This motivation will directly enhance organizational productivity and thereby profitability. In the view of Marquis and Huston (2009, p. 434), motivation helps an indivi dual to move forward in spite of all possible difficulties and challenges. Controlling is a management function that bridges the gap between actual performance and the planned performance by finding reasons for such gaps and taking corrective measures or actions to address those reasons. Rothbauer-Wanish (2009) says that this function is essential to make sure that the business is running along the predetermined path. Moreover, it would enable the management team to successfully enter into the next phase of planning. Recommendations to Amanda (1)Although you (Amanda) had established an effective mission statement, you failed to develop and share it in an appropriate way. It seems that you have not tried to pass her visions and goals on to your new employees. For the profitable running of Smith’s Accounting and Tax Service, Amanda’s employees must be well aware of the firm’s ultimate goal. Therefore, you must give great emphasis on sharing your mission and vision with your employees. (2)Similarly, you failed to organize and control human resources effectively. You completely relied on Lisa even before analyzing the range of Lisa’s performance. You gave full freedom to Lisa to manage the day to day activities of other employees. In short, you have not given adequate care in dealing with the individual performance of your employees. Hence, it is

Effective use of business principles and practices Essay

Effective use of business principles and practices - Essay Example n abilities and skills that influence the leader to provide these followers with the desired resources so leaders can sucessfully conduct the task of attaining organization’s aims and objectives. One of the main tasks conducted by leaders is influence their followers to accept change inorder to implement changes in the organization as changes are very important if an organization has to prosper in its business. It is the duty of the leader to ensure that followers understand the importance of the change not only for the organization, but even for the followers themselves. The leader has to make sure that followers are ready to accept change, they do so by supplying the true picture of the change to the followers and informing them about the various advantages and disadvantages of implementing these change (Northouse, 2007). Success of a leader is determined by how well he has been able to influence its followers and whether organaizzation goals and objectives have been achieve d in the best possible

Collaboration Photography Assignment Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 250 words

Collaboration Photography - Assignment Example The scene is mechanical, and captivating at the same time, and through right angle shoots outs the object confronts the subject directly and the use of light and shadow brings more focus on the object. Though people consider black and white photography is often treated as the poor relation of color, it can make a photo look captivating. A distraction brought out by color in the photo is eliminated by the use of the black and white photography; a studio brings out the best of the colors. In fact, the black and white boils to major concepts: removal of distraction, contrast, pattern, texture and lighting. Color photography unlike the black and white one does not effectively provide patterns, in fact, slight ones go unnoticed. On the other hand, a black and white Photoshop provides more vivid capturing patterns, as the viewer’s attention is more focused on the shapes formed by the elements in the

Development of Diabetes Register

Development of Diabetes Register The national DEMS aims to support diabetic health professionals in providing real-time information when and where it is required. Electronic medical records (EMRs) are an important means of enhancing patient wellbeing through inaccuracy reduction and to enhance clinical care quality (Lester, Zai et al. 2008). EMRs have previously been effective in refining diabetes management and enhancing organizing of care among multi disciplinary teams (Lester, Zai et al. 2008). Accomplishing interoperability between EHRs and registries will be progressively more vital as the utilisation of registries and EHRs develops considerably (Gliklich and Dreyner 2010). The typical viewpoint regarding establishing a diabetes register is by assembling electronic patient files held by GPs medical centre’s of diabetic patients (Morris, Boyle et al. 1997). Another alternative is to gather patient records electronically from multi sources to a central source in order to achieve a more comprehensive register (Morris, Boyle et al. 1997). When setting up a diabetes register it should be carried out according to NICE guidelines which include: â€Å"Patients demographics adjustable risk factors medicine prescribed Attendance at practice or diabetes outpatient clinic† (OKelly, Foy et al. 2008). The set of accessible data sources is the most important factor in determining the capabilities of disease surveillance system. The purposed Irish diabetes register will utilise information from PCRS and NCSS data sources. PCRS contains information regarding prescribed drugs and medicines typically taken by diabetics such as statins (cholesterol lowering medications) this information is gotten from the General Medical Services Scheme. T2D patients can be identified by their need to use oral diabetes prescriptions such as oral anti-hyperglcaemic which can be taken on their own or with insulin (OShea, Teeling et al. 2013). The scheme affords entitled persons access to free health care as well as prescription medication (OShea, Teeling et al. 2013). The PCRS gathers the information on â€Å"dispensed prescribed medication† a monthly basis from the scheme, these medications† are coded using the WHO Anatomical Therapeutic Chemical (ATC) classification system† (OShea, Te eling et al. 2013). As well as checking these data sources, hospital diabetic clinics might contain patients not already on the national register. â€Å"Patients with medication treating T2D can be identified using the prescription of oral anti-hyperglycaemic agents alone or in combination with insulin as a proxy for disease diagnosis†. Diabetes register aids the identification and tracking of clinical outcome (Lester, Zai et al. 2008). The registry can be kept up-to-date in an automatic manner when run against laboratory results and GP practice EMR (Lester, Zai et al. 2008). The registry needs to up-to-date and not to contain stagnat data. Initially is it perceived that there will be two data sources: NCCS and PCRS. Hospital diabetes clinics – extracted to register Regarding the laboratory system, patient whose records contained information regarding glycated haemogloblin, plasma glucose, urinary microalbumin and serum creatinine were considered to be diabetes as well as oral glucose tolerance test confirming the diagnosis of diabetes or outpatient plasma glucose concentration of greater than 11.1 mmol/l (Morris, Boyle et al. 1997). All laboratory results applicable to diabetes care are available electronically; patients could be identified and included in the register. Registries typically gather information from various data sources, this is typically done by collecting information from various sources and linking the information across data sources, either with identifiers intended for linking or by recorded attributes of the patients to whom the information match up to (Gliklich and NA 2010). Most general method for record linkage typically depends on the presence of unique identifiers (Gliklich and Dreyner 2010). Once verified that the information is correct, it will be necessary to verify that the data can be uploaded correctly onto the Diabetes register. Look at hipe extract as an example Gathering of data from an assortment of data sources capitalizes on the available data on each diabetic patient and ensures comprehensiveness. The National Cancer Screening programme/ schemes provide data on . Data includes demographics, history of, treatment. This data is stored electronically on NCCS database whish a password protected designed database. The hospital system has a record of patients registered Duplicate patients records are avoided by the use of an report based on similar surnames, forenames and hospital numbers. Data of birth comparison. As data is collected from a number of sources it necessary to remove duplicate records. â€Å"Currently there is no unique number assigned to individuals accessing health and social care in Ireland which would enable the accurate identification of individuals†. â€Å"Therefore cases are cross-matched from the different data sources. A range of variables, including names, gender, county of residence, data of birth are used to match the data†. [dissertation Benefits realization information technology in a national surveillance system, Patient demographics download All systems to remain in sync. A patient enters a hospital is registered on the PIMS and that information is then sent to laboratory system. Healthlink server , the vendor provides the code handles how the file gets sent from nimis software suite The laboratory system requires an interface to PAS system to enable demographics and clinical information for common patients to be shared between the two systems. HL7 interface facilitates the transfer of demographic information between the PAS and laboratory systems. Information from PAS is extracted and formatted using iSoft Integration Engine. The laboratory system will communicate with the Integration Engine using HL7 messaging over TCP/IP sockets Patient information is entered or modified in PAS. The resultant transaction is recorded in PAS audit service. The audit service is continually monitored by iSoft Integration Engine which is configured to look for relevant transactions. For each transaction, the associated information is extracted from PAS and formed into the appropriate HL7 message for immediate onward transmission to laboratory system. The laboratory interface continually listens for HL7 messages from PAS. When a message is received it is analysed to check its purpose and check that the information is correct. If the patient number referenced in the message is unknown to laboratory system then the patient will be registered otherwise the patient details will be updated based on the contents of the message. Systolic blood pressure Diastolic blood pressure HbA1c Creatinine Microalbumin Patients attending Hospital diabetes clinics, Graphically representation on the main screen. Health care professionals perceive that there is not enough time in the day to carry out their workload. There needs to be effort made to ensure quick data review and efficient action (Lester, Zai et al. 2008). A graph will be generated to display on screen to demonstrate changes in weight and blood pressure to emphasize the importance of the data. The report function enables automatic printout of letters to GPs, episode details and annual review for filing in the patients case notes, referral letters to other specialities. Auditing All transactions within the system will be audited. This means that transactions will be recorded with a snapshot of the data and the user performing the action. The system needs an audit function to facilitate audit. Validation Data entry validation are used to minimize the risk of errors; duplication entries. Performance The system will be utilised on the National Health Network which will facilitate reliable and robust network on which the system to work on.

Essay example --

50/50 In my opinion, the story of 50/50 was told well. The movie thrived in formal and stylistic elements. The film was exceptional on the formal elements of character, plot and structure. It was also good at the stylistic elements such as music and cinematography. First, 50/50 was very good in the character category in formal elements. The character development was something that really struck out to me. The biggest surprise from this film lies in where the writer decided to focus the true heart of the story in the development of the characters One example is the relationship between Adam and his young therapist Katherine. They’re both too inexperienced to be dealing with things such as cancer. She is clearly inexperienced because Adam is one of her first patients. Their relationship would need to support the emotional side of an argument, rather than simply emotion. But the biggest relationship is between Adam and Kyle. Now this relationship is not as strong as it needs to be, but it’s enough to warm the heart and give Adam that final push into opening up. There is a good scene in the movie where Adam stays at Kyle's and finds a book on surviving cancer, filled with notes and underlinings, proving that Kyle does care for Adam a nd is worried for him. The next day as Kyle drops Adam off at the hospital, Adam embraces Kyle for being a good friend. Its a great display of subtle character development. Second, 50/50 had a very good plot and structure. I thought it was very well written. When I looked up some facts about the movie, I found out it was based on a true story. The person that the movie is based on is also the writer. Personally, I believe that a good story can also come from an experience such as surviving cancer. ... ... macaroons. The frame was somewhat shaky and the picture was fuzzy. It was as though you were high with Adam. In conclusion, 50/50 has formal and stylistic elements. Claudia Puig of USA Today said, â€Å" 50/50 winningly demonstrates that profound emotion and wide-ranging humor can co-exist in the same movie — just as they do in real life.† This movie makes you laugh and can really make you cry. It is a great movie that shows that you can’t go through something this big by yourself. It takes two and maybe more. A good film is a story worth telling that is told well. 50/50 is a great story that is written first hand by someone who lived the movie. The writer puts us in his shows and the director does a great job depicting everything. The music, the cinematography, the characters, and the plot all blended together to make one great story that made you laugh and cry.